By The Qoheleth
This issue of “kitchen, sitting room and bedroom or the other room” may not have been serious one if it had not emanated from the Nigerian first family. It could have landed in the gossip bin and couldn’t have been discussed nationally and internationally. Some men for show of public sympathy state in the social media that their wives do not belong to any of the places stated above but by their side. And I ask, if the home is symbolically made up of sitting room, kitchen and bedroom, and your wife does not belong to these places, who then belong to your home? Is your home by your side? The worrisome aspect of it is that most Nigerian women take it as a serious reason to abandon their divine responsibilities. Some Nigerian men out of mere expression of inordinate emotions shy away from their responsibilities as heads of the family.
From the beginning, it was contestably stated that man was made to be the head by guiding, protecting, grooming and providing for the family. Men go into the field to till the soil from where the family feeds. This is why in some cultures; men are tested to show their ability to take these functions as husbands. In procreation, men also fertilize the eggs to produce human. Women, who God created as stronger in heart and better in management from the beginning are made to take care of the home. She assists the man in preparing what is produced from the field, training the children, advising the man and taking full charge of the house, turning it into a home. She actually has larger responsibilities and functions in the family. In procreation, she carries the baby in her womb, nurses and shows maternal love and care till maturity. Women are usually groomed and prepared by their parents to take these responsibilities later in life. The functions of man and woman are therefore complimentary.
However, certain circumstances have changed this order. Such circumstances have also altered the rich African family culture creating unnecessary confusion both in its concept and management. This has also destroyed many homes. These circumstances include poor economic conditions, western culture and education, science and technology and family orientation. In summary, many women pick up men’s jobs and responsibilities, not that they want to be equal to men but to assist in taking care of the family needs. In such cases, such women erroneously assume that since they till the ground and provide the food, they are therefore the head. On the other hand, some men are thrown off balance anytime they cannot cater for their families and as a result of this become too weak to take charge and control.
Many western cultures, especially family order destroyed the African heritage. Instead of African women to seek for equal opportunities, they rather seek for equal rights. In cases where they are granted this right, most of them abuse such leading into broken homes. Being educated and trained in professional skills, many women feel that it is an opportunity to look down on men since they can “do it better.”
The grooming of children has been effectively handed over to domestic servants, school teachers and the general public. At some adult age, many parents are still taking care of their children, providing for them and in most cases making decisions for them. This makes many men lousy and incapable of managing the women and children under their care. It is no longer news that many women do not know how to cook neither can they manage their husbands and children.
Science and technology have their advantages and disadvantages. Since we have machines that cook, clean houses, wash clothes and dishes, the men may not see the value of women in their homes anymore. Some even treat their wives like those machines. Women may not take pride in motherhood with the advent of machines that produce babies outside the womb. The function of nine months carriage may be taken off them. With sex being promoted from a tool of procreation to entertainment, women may need a special robot armed with extra strength to carry out the modern gymnastics in love making and sexual satisfaction. The discovery of vibrators and other equipment did not help matters. You can see that men now marry men and women marry women. This is an indirect way of exterminating humanity and debasing family values.
Women should be women in Africa while men should be men. Their functions should be complimentary in most cases for us to build a healthy and sustainable family. Pride has no place in family building. Women seeking equality with men is mere pride.
